Three guys walk into a bar. The fourth one ducks.- Two fish are in a tank. One says to the other, “You man the guns, I’ll drive!”
- Two parrots are sitting on a perch. One says to the other, “Something’s fishy about this.”
- Two muffins are sitting in the oven. One says, “Oh man, it’s hot in here.” The other shrieks, “OH MY G*d! A talking muffin!”
- How do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator? Open the door and shove him in.
- How do you get two giraffes in a refrigerator? Open the door, move the first giraffe over and shove him in.
- How do you get a rhinoceros in the refrigerator? Open the door, take out the two giraffes and shove him in.
- What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.
- What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.
- What do you call a man with no arms or legs lying on your doorstep? Matt.
- What do you call a man with no arms or legs floating in the swimming pool? Bob.
- What do you call a man with no arms or legs laying on the grill? Frank.
- What do you call a woman with no arms or legs hanging on your door frame? Belle.
- What do you call a woman with one leg shorter than the other? Eileen.
- Simba is calling together a meeting of all the animals at Pride Rock. As he’s taking role, he notices that everyone is present except one. Who’s missing? The rhinoceros, he’s still stuck in the refrigerator.