An elderly couple was having dinner one evening when the husband reached across the table, took his wife's hand in his and said, "Martha, soon we will be married 50 years, and there's something I have to know. In all of these 50 years, have you ever been unfaithful to me?"
"Nurse,"' he mumbles from behind the mask, "are my testicles black?"
Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, "I don't know, Sir. I'm only here to wash your upper body and feet."
The guy sitting next to him can’t believe what he just saw. He’s more surprised when, 10 minutes later, the same guy walks back into the bar and sits down next to him.
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Hillary, in her usual charming manner, says to the chauffeur, "You get out and check. After all, you were driving."
I bought a new Ford F250 Tri-Flex Fuel Truck
That runs on either hydrogen, gasoline or E85.
I returned to the dealer yesterday
Because I couldn't get the radio to work.
The technician explained that the radio was voice activated.
|Murphy goes to his friend Pat and says ... "I'm sleeping with the Pastor's wife. Can you hold him in church for an hour after services for me."
Pat doesn't like it but, being Murphy's longtime friend, he agrees.
He makes his way to the women and asks "Excuse me, are you ladies from Scotland?" [more…]