"Nurse,"' he mumbles from behind the mask, "are my testicles black?"
Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, "I don't know, Sir. I'm only here to wash your upper body and feet."
The guy sitting next to him can’t believe what he just saw. He’s more surprised when, 10 minutes later, the same guy walks back into the bar and sits down next to him.
The astonished onlooker asks, “How did you do that? I just saw you jump out the window, and we’re hundreds of feet above the ground!”
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Hillary, in her usual charming manner, says to the chauffeur, "You get out and check. After all, you were driving."
I bought a new Ford F250 Tri-Flex Fuel Truck
That runs on either hydrogen, gasoline or E85.
I returned to the dealer yesterday
Because I couldn't get the radio to work.
The technician explained that the radio was voice activated.
|Murphy goes to his friend Pat and says ... "I'm sleeping with the Pastor's wife. Can you hold him in church for an hour after services for me."
Pat doesn't like it but, being Murphy's longtime friend, he agrees.
He makes his way to the women and asks "Excuse me, are you ladies from Scotland?" [more…]
Two wives go out for girls' night. Both got drunk, started walking home and had to go to the bathroom. They stopped at a cemetery but had nothing to wipe with. One used her panties and the other grabbed a wreath off a grave. [more…]
My kids have always been observant of their surroundings, but they tend to pick out details no one else would notice. I was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening when a woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and waved.
She was stark naked! As I was reeling from the shock, I heard my 5-year-old shout from the back seat, "Mom! That lady isn't wearing a seat belt!"