After their baby was born, the panicked father went to see the Obstetrician. 'Doctor,' the man said, 'I don't mind telling you, but I'm a little upset because my daughter has red hair. She can't possibly be mine!!
'Nonsense,' the doctor said. 'Even though you and your wife both have black hair, one of your ancestors may have contributed red hair to the gene pool.' [more…]
I can no longer continue our relationship. The distance between us is just too great. I must admit that I have cheated on you twice, since you’ve been gone, and it's not fair to either of us. I'm sorry. Please return the picture of me that I sent to you.
The man turns to her and says, "I've been having the strangest urge at work lately."
His wife, being the caring woman she is, asks "What is it."
It’s hard to imagine a world without Twitter, and more specifically, a world without people making jokes on Twitter.
The medium has become so ingrained in Internet culture that it has now leaked fully beyond the constraints of Twitter so that people who have never even used Twitter before are seeing tweets on Facebook, Instagram, or Tumblr almost daily.
The interviewer asks him, "Are you allergic to anything?"
He replies, "Yes, caffeine. I can't drink coffee."
He went home and told his wife, Mary, "I won the prize for the best toast of the night."
The nurse returned to the mother's side, and the labor progressed smoothly. As the birth neared, the nurse returned to the man, now pacing frantically in the ball. "She's doing so well," she assured him. "Would, you like to at least come in and see her?"The man seemed to hesitate slightly, then shook his head again. "No, no, I couldn't do that." He jingled car keys in his sweaty palm and resumed his pacing.
No. 1 says her son studied economics, became a banker and is so rich, he gave his best friend a Ferrari.
The 10 PM news was coming on. The news crew was covering the story of a man on the ledge of a tall building preparing to jump.