The teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment: Get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it.---The next day, the kids came back and, one by one, began to tell their stories.
There were all the regular types of stuff: Spilled milk and pennies saved. But then the teacher realized, that only Janie was left."Janie, do you have a story to share?"
- Good girls loosen a few buttons when it's hot. Bad girls make it hot by loosening a few buttons.
- Good girls only own one credit card and rarely use it. Bad girls only own one bra and rarely use it.
After World War II, an American soldier was going back to London from the front. He was on a very crowded train, and was looking for a seat, but the only empty one was next to an older lady, and she had her pet poodle on it. He said, “Please, madam, I'm very tired. May I please sit here?”
Many may love it, but Marmite has been named as one of Britain's top ten most hated brands, beaten only by political parties Ukip and the Conservatives
A farmer is giving his blonde wife last-minute instructions
before heading to town to do chores.
"That fellow from the University will be along this afternoon to
inseminate one of the cows. I've hung a nail by the right stall
so you'll know which one I want him to impregnate."
Time is like a river. You cannot touch the water twice, because the flow that has passed will never pass again. Enjoy every moment of life. As a bagpiper, I play many gigs. Recently I was asked by a funeral director to play at a graveside service for a homeless man. [more…]
Aer Lingus has confirmed that its board is considering a sweetened offer from British Airways owner IAG.
The Irish flag carrier said IAG had raised its all-cash offer to €2.55 (£1.90) per share, including a cash dividend per share of five euro cents.
It added that the proposal remains conditional on due diligence, board recommendation and the receipt of "irrevocable commitments from Ryanair and the minister of finance for Ireland" to accept the offer.
I always believed that you cannot take it with you.
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