1. I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn’t work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness. 2. Do not argue with an... Keep reading →
Paddy says, "Me feet are freezing mate, could you nip upstairs and get me slippers?" [more…]
He said,“Our 2nd main rule is cleanliness. Did you wipe your feet on the mat before coming in?” [more…]
The little boy started to giggle and ate his breakfast and went out to play. Then he came back in for lunch and asked his grandma "where's Mom and Dad?" and she replied "they're still up in bed."
"I'm in love." the boy replied.
Holding back an urge to smile, she asked, "With whom?"
"With you!" he said.
- At a meeting of the Commonwealth Heads of State in London, the Queen Mother was standing next to the King of Tonga outside Buckingham Palace, when suddenly, one of the horses of the Household Cavalry farted very loudly.
He was a keen sailor and wanted his ashes scattering at sea. So my Grandmother, my dad and I went out on a boat to scatter them.
My wife found out that our dog (a Schnauzer) could hardly hear, so she took it to the veterinarian. The vet found that the problem was hair in the dog's ears. He cleaned both ears, and the dog could then hear fine.
The vet then proceeded to tell Andrea that, if she wanted to keep this from recurring, she should go to the store and get some "Nair" hair remover and rub it in the dog's ears once a month. [more…]
There was an old man named Bozo, and all he had was a female donkey. One day he wins the lottery and gets $50,000. He doesn't know what to do with his money, so he decides to spend a night in a five star hotel.
He asks for the finest room and starts going up the stairs with his female donkey. The manager sees him and asks where he's going with his donkey.