Laughter spot
At the National Art Gallery in Dublin, a husband and wife were staring at a portrait that had them completely confused. The painting depicted three black men totally naked, sitting on a bench.
Two of the figures had black penises, but the one in the middle had a pink penis. The curator of the gallery realized that they were having trouble interpreting the painting and offered his personal assessment.
The pastor asked if anyone in the congregation would like to express praise for answered prayers.
Suzie Smith stood and walked to the podium. She said, "I have a praise. Two months ago, my husband, Phil, had a terrible bicycle wreck and his scrotum was completely crushed.
Two women go out one night without their husbands.
They go to a bar, have a chat along with a couple of drinks and then head back home. On the way home one of them turns to the other and says:
"Sorry, but I need to go to a toilet. Can we stop for a minute?"
Guy walks into a pub and asks the bar man for a pint, "That will be $0.05 please sir".
"Wow, in that case I will have a shot of whisky too" "Certainly, that will be $0.03 sir".
A guy sits at a bar in a skyscraper restaurant high above the city. He slams a shot of tequila, goes over to the window and jumps out.
The guy sitting next to him can’t believe what he just saw. He’s more surprised when, 10 minutes later, the same guy walks back into the bar and sits down next to him.
The astonished onlooker asks, “How did you do that? I just saw you jump out the window, and we’re hundreds of feet above the ground!”
A brunette, a red-head and a blonde were in jail when they decided to break out. The girls broke out and the brunette said, "Let's hide in that barn, they'll never find us."
So they climed up the ladder and then the blonde threw it down. [more…]
A man walks into the street and manages to get a taxi just going by.
He gets into the taxi, and the cabbie says, "Perfect timing. You're just like Frank."
Boss Calls Employee's House And Starts Sweating After Hearing This. But The Reality Is Priceless
A boss wondered why one of his most valued employees had not rung in sick one day. Having an urgent problem with a main computer, he phoned the employee's home number and was greeted with a child's whisper, 'Hello?'
'Is your Daddy home?' he asked. 'Yes', whispered the small voice.
'May I speak to him?' The child whispered 'No.'
