No. 1 says her son studied economics, became a banker and is so rich, he gave his best friend a Ferrari.
The first one decides to pray saying "God please make me smart enough to get across this river." so God turns her into a brunette and she swims across the river.
The director of the winery wondered how to send him away. He gave him a glass to drink. [more…]
A 5-year-old boy went to visit his grandmother.
One day, playing with his toys in her bedroom while grandma was dusting, he looked up and said, Grandma, how come you don't have a boyfriend now that Grandpa went to heaven?
The 10 PM news was coming on. The news crew was covering the story of a man on the ledge of a tall building preparing to jump.
The mortician asks the deceased's wife how she would like the body dressed, pointing out that the man does look good in the black suit he is already wearing.
The widow, however, says that she always thought her husband looked his best in blue, and that she wants him in a blue suit. She gives the mortician a blank check and says, 'I don't care what it costs, but please have my husband in a blue suit for the viewing.'
Airborne less than 30 minutes on an outbound evening flight, the "A" stew - lead flight attendant - for the cabin crew nervously made the following painful announcement: "Ladies and gentlemen, I'm so very sorry but it appears that there has been a terrible last minute error by our airport catering service.
I don't know how this has happened but we have 103 passengers on board and, unfortunately, only 40 dinner meals. I truly apologise for this mistake and inconvenience." [more…]
> IDIOT SIGHTING #1
> My daughter and I went through the McDonald's take-out window and I gave the girl a £5 note. Our total was £4.20, so I also handed her a Twenty pence piece. She said, 'you gave me too much money.' I said, Yes I know, but that way you can just give me a pound back.'