After looking around he spotted a parrot sitting on a little perch. It didn’t have any feet or legs.
“Gosh, I wonder what happened to this parrot?” Herbert muttered.
“I was born this way,” said the parrot. “I’m a defective parrot.”
“My father isn’t home,” she said, “but I can help you. You want our bull to service your cow. Well, my father charges one hundred pounds for his best bull.”
“That’s not what I want,” the neighbour said.
The doctor tells the man to bring his wife in so he can talk to her and hopefully determine what the problem is. [more…]
Chatting with a bull, a turkey sighed and said, "I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree, but I haven't got the energy."
"Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull. "They're packed with nutrients."
A plane is on its way to Cape Town when a blonde in Economy Class gets up and moves to First Class and sits down.
The flight attendant watches her do this and asks to see her ticket, she then tells the blonde passenger that she's paid for Economy and that she will have to go and sit in the back.
When she went before the judge, he asked her, "What did you steal?" She replied, "A can of peaches."
The judge said, "Why did you steal a can of peaches?"
Q: What did the bartender say after a book walked into the bar? A: "Please, no stories!"
Q. Why did God invent Jameson whiskey? A. So the Irish would never rule the world!
“Will I die?” she asks. God says, “No. You have 30 more years to live.”