Laughter spot
One day the sheriff sees Billy-Bob walking around town with nothing on except his gun belt and his boots. The sheriff says “Billy-Bob, what the hell are you doing walking around town dressed like that?”
Billy-Bob replies “Well sheriff, it’s a long story!”
Everyone has experienced an unruly child in a public place, but one man was so fed up by a child whining nearby that he took matters into his own hands to get revenge.
The man, who shared his story on Reddit, said he was in a long line at Burger King when a mother and child got in line behind him. The child, he said, was acting up from the moment he arrived at the fast food chain.
The Royal Navy found they had too many officers and decided to offer an early retirement bonus.
They promised any officer who volunteered for Retirement a bonus of £1,000 for every inch measured in a straight line between any two points in his body... The officer got to choose what those two points would be.
The first officer who accepted asked that he be measured from the top of his head to the tip of his toes. He was measured at six feet and walked out with a bonus of £72,000...
A lawyer gets pulled over by a police officer.
The officer asks the lawyer "Do you know why I pulled you over?"
"I haven't the foggiest idea," said the lawyer.
Complaints to Councils - Extracts from letters written by council tenants:
1. It's the dogs mess that I find hard to swallow.
2. I want some repairs done to my cooker as it has backfired and burnt my knob off.
3. I wish to complain that my father twisted his ankle very badly when he put his foot in the hole in his back passage.
4. Their 18 year old son is continually banging his balls against my fence.
There's nothing worse than a Doctor's Receptionist who insists you tell her what is wrong with you in a room full of other patients.
I know most of us have experienced this, and I love the way this old guy handled it.
An 86 year old man walked into a crowded waiting room and approached the desk...
The Receptionist said, "Yes sir, what are you seeing the Doctor for today?"
Two businessmen in the centre of London were sitting down for a break in their soon-to-be new store. As yet, the store wasn't ready, with only a few shelves set up.
One said to the other, "I bet any minute now some pensioneris going to walk by, put their face to the window, and ask what we're selling.
A firefighter was working on the engine outside the station, when he noticed a little girl nearby in a little red wagon with little ladders hung off the sides, and a garden hose tightly coiled in the middle.
The girl was wearing a fire fighters helmet. The wagon was being pulled by her dog and her cat. The firefighter walked over to take a closer look. That sure is a nice fire truck, the firefighter said with admiration.
A beautiful German woman married an American gentleman born in Virginia and they lived happily ever after in his home town. The poor lady was not very proficient in English, but did manage to communicate with her husband. The real problem arose whenever she had to shop for groceries.
