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Laughter Spot

Laughter Spot : “The one about Bob and the 20 million pounds”

by on September 24, 2018

When Bob found out he was going to inherit a fortune when his sickly father died, he decided he needed a woman to enjoy it with.

So one evening he went to a singles bar where he spotted the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. Her natural beauty took his breath away.

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Laughter Spot :  “The one about the call centre”

Laughter Spot : “The one about the call centre”

by on September 8, 2018

One of our most popular sections on theMarketingblog is the award winning Laughter Spot.

I know you have a favourite joke etc. you want to share with our readers. Please do not wait - send it to will@themarketingblog.co.uk today.  Thanks [more…]

Laughter Spot : “The one about the blind rabbits”

by on September 7, 2018

A blind rabbit and a blind snake were friends. One day the blind rabbit told the blind snake that he didn’t know what he was, because he couldn’t see.

So he asked the snake for help in determining what he was.

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Laughter Spot : “He saw a police car behind him”

by on August 26, 2018

A pensioner drove his brand new BMW to 100 mph, looking in his rear view mirror, he saw a police car behind him. He floored it to 140 , then 150, ... then 155, ... Suddenly he thought,

"I'm too old for this nonsense !"

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Laughter Spot : The one about the traffic camera ..

by on August 14, 2018

A man was driving when a traffic camera flashed. He thought his picture was taken for exceeding the speed limit, even though he knew he was not speeding.

Just to be sure, he went around the block and passed the same spot, driving even more slowly, but again the camera flashed. He thought this was quite funny, so he slowed down even further as he drove past the area, but the traffic camera flashed yet again. He tried a fourth time with the same result.

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Laughter Spot : Here is the joke Macron told Prime Minister May last week … exclusive

Laughter Spot : Here is the joke Macron told Prime Minister May last week … exclusive

by on August 6, 2018

The French President, is sitting in his office when his telephone rings.
“Hallo, Mr. Macron!” a heavily accented voice said. “This is Paddy down at the Harp Pub in County Clare, Ireland. I am ringing to inform you that we are officially declaring war on you!” “Well, Paddy,” Macron replied, “This is indeed important news! How big is your army?”
“Right now,” says Paddy, after a moment’s calculation, “there is meself, me cousin Sean, me next door neighbour Seamus, and the entire darts team from the pub. That makes eight!”

Macron paused. “I must tell you, Paddy, that I have 100,000 men in my army waiting to move on my command.”
“Begoora!” says Paddy. “I’ll have to ring you back.”

Sure enough, the next day, Paddy calls again. “Mr. Macron the war is still on. We have managed to get us some infantry equipment!”
“And what equipment would that be Paddy?” Macron asks.
“Well, we have two combines, a bulldozer, and Murphy’s farm tractor.”

Macron sighs amused. “I must tell you, Paddy, that I have 6,000 tanks and 5,000 armored personnel carriers. Also, I have increased my army to 150,000 since we last spoke.”
“Saints preserve us!” says Paddy. “I’ll have to get back to you.”

Sure enough, Paddy rings again the next day. “Mr. Macron, the war is still on! We have managed to get ourselves airborne! We have modified Jackie McLaughlin’s ultra-light with a couple of shotguns in the cockpit, and four boys from the Shamrock Bar have joined us as well!”

Macron was silent for a minute and then cleared his throat. “I must tell you, Paddy, that I have 100 bombers and 200 fighter planes. My military bases are surrounded by laser-guided, surface-to-air missile sites. And since we last spoke, I have increased my army to 200,000!”

“Jesus, Mary, and Joseph!” says Paddy, “I will have to ring you back.”

Sure enough, Paddy calls again the next day. “Top o’ the mornin’, Mr. Macron! I am sorry to inform you that we have had to call off the war.”

“Really? I am sorry to hear that,” says Macron. “Why the sudden change of heart?”

“Well,” says Paddy, “we had a long chat over a few pints of Guinness, and we decided there is no fookin’ way we can feed 200,000 prisoners

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Complaints : “The beach was too sandy. We had to clean everything when we returned to our room.”

Complaints : “The beach was too sandy. We had to clean everything when we returned to our room.”

by on August 5, 2018

They should not allow topless sunbathing on the beach. It was very distracting for my husband who just wanted to relax

These are actual complaints received from dissatisfied customers by Thomas Cook Vacations (based on a Thomas Cook/ABTA survey):

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Laughter Spot : The best of Tommy Cooper

by on July 21, 2018

Tommy Cooper jokes

  • A man walked into the doctor's, he said 'I've hurt my arm in several places'.

    The doctor said 'well don't go there any more'.

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Laughter Spot : “The one about the young percussionists”

by on July 20, 2018

A wise old gentleman retired and purchased a modest home near a junior high school. He spent the first few weeks of his retirement in peace and contentment. Then a new school year began.

The very next afternoon three young boys, full of youthful, after-school enthusiasm, came down his street, beating merrily on every trash can they encountered. The crashing percussion continued day after day, until finally the wise old man decided it was time to take some action.

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Laughter Spot : How to maintain a healthy level of insanity in retirement

by on May 23, 2018

1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on, point a hair dryer at passing cars, and watch them slow down!

2. On all your cheque stubs, write, 'For Marijuana'!

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