A man got on a bus with both of his front trouser pockets full of golf balls. He sat down next to a beautiful blonde. The puzzled blonde kept looking at him and his bulging pockets. Finally, after many glances from her, he said, "It's golf balls."
The husband leans over and asks his wife, "Do you remember the first time we had sex together over fifty years ago? We went behind the village tavern where you leaned against the back fence and I made love to you."
The teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment: Get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it.---The next day, the kids came back and, one by one, began to tell their stories.
There were all the regular types of stuff: Spilled milk and pennies saved. But then the teacher realized, that only Janie was left."Janie, do you have a story to share?"
After World War II, an American soldier was going back to London from the front. He was on a very crowded train, and was looking for a seat, but the only empty one was next to an older lady, and she had her pet poodle on it. He said, “Please, madam, I'm very tired. May I please sit here?”