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“Findus more horse meat jokes” you said, so we did…

by on February 9, 2013 in Laughter Spot, Laughter Spot, Lead story, Retail, Small Business, Startups, TV

The best Twitter horse meat jokes - now with added Shergar lasagne

Written By Paul Jones via the Radio Times

The horse meat “scandal” has entered its second furlong and is really getting into its stride with the news that Findus “beef” lasagnes have been found to contain 99% equine protein.Cue more horse meat Twitter jokes , now with added Findus, Shergar and lasagne.

They’re under starter’s orders... and they’re off!

Graeme Garden@GraemeGarden1

What’s the fuss? For years we’ve been told that Ready Meals contain too much Salt and Shergar. #findus

Alan Machnik@Alan_Machnik

Coca-Cola are pleased to announce that no horse DNA has ever been found in any of its products. Especially Shergar-Free Diet Coke.

Camarlo ‏@_camarlo

You can guarantee that if Heston’s lasagne had horsemeat in it, the middle-classes would be w***ing themselves blind over it.

Lauren Laverne ‏@laurenlaverne

@AlanCarr Findus some horse meat? (Tesco have run out)...#Needswork

Danny Baker

BBC: When asked how many years Findus have been adding horse meat to their products their MD struck the ground 6 times with his front hoof.

Put my Findus Lasagne into microwave. I took it out after 3 minutes & it still wasn’t finished. I said, “I’ve backed you before haven’t I?

Chris Addison@mrchrisaddison

BREAKING: #Findus fish fingers test positive for 60% seahorse.

GlennyRodge ‏@GlennyRodge

Dunno why people are complaining about this horsemeat story. A horse is basically just a really fit cow.

Martin Lewis@MartinSLewis

I don’t get why everyone is so upset about the horse meat thing. I mean seriously, why the long faces?


Richard III walks into a gay wedding eating a horsemeat lasagne. Twitter explodes.

Seven Seas Worldwide @7SeasWorldwide

Very proud to say this morning that our beef lasagne does not contain horsemeat. Or beef. Or sheets of lasagne. We’re a shipping company.

Use the comments to send us your horse meat special! Thanks….


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8 CommentsAdd yours

  • Will Corry - February 9, 2013

    Aww no, my @findus beef lasagne has given me the trots.

  • Ian - February 10, 2013

    Apparently #findus are sponsoring a race at the Cheltenham festival next month. They’re calling it the findus steaks.

  • Richard - February 10, 2013

    Findus horse meat problems just keep getting bigger they’ve now found Zebra in the barcodes

  • me - February 10, 2013

    Traces of zebras found in Tesco barcodes.

    I wasn’t sure what to put on my best Tesco beefburger but eventually decided on a fiver each way
    I’ve tried Sainsbury’s and Tesco burgers and I have to say Tesco wins by a nose.

    I think I had Tesco Horseburger last night by mistake. Never again. Had terrible night mares

    I bet Tesco hate being saddled with this story. Their PR agency must be bridling too. They’ll just have to get the bit between their teeth.

    The police are doing a door to door enquiries about these horse burgers. They will soon have covered the whole Neigh-bourhood.

    Can’t believe that woman was sent to hospital after eating a horse meat burger…… Her condition is said to be stable

    I expect this only relates to those mini-burgers you have as snacks. You know, the horse d’oeuvres.

    Apparently Tesco now offer triple loyalty points for a takeaway burger and a full tank of petrol – They call it the “Only Fuels and Horses” deal
    Reading the label on these Tesco burgers…. it turns out they’re fairly low in fat, but surprisingly high in Shergar.
    Just got a batch of 200 Tesco beef burgers cheap, it only cost me a Pony
    Despite the scandal Tesco say their burger sales remain stable
    I’m not going to eat any more Tesco burgers…last time i had one they gave me the trots…
    New kids food found in budget supermarket: My Lidl pony.
    I’ve found it tough lately working on the Tesco meat counter…. I feel like I’m flogging a dead horse
    I checked my Tesco Burgers in the fridge this morning…and They’re Off

  • Chris Breed - February 11, 2013

    I had a Findus lasagne last night. I’ve still got a bit between my teeth.

  • SG - February 14, 2013

    If you’re so hungry you can eat a horse, Findus has just what you’re looking for…

  • Will Corry - February 16, 2013

    Many thanks for this – appreciated.

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