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‘Isle of Wight Skyscraper’ blamed for alleged milk-souring incident

A pint of milk was ‘partially soured’ by the sun’s rays reflected from the Isle of Wight’s second tallest building near Ryde, yesterday.

The milk was the property of Mrs Janine Smythe. ‘One minute it was fresh and nice, then I left it for half an hour and when I returned it was basked in eerily intense sunlight, reflected from the top of the tower block of flats opposite,’ she told a press conference. The block, Wight Towers, thought to be the Island’s second tallest building, has courted controversy since an alleged in-lift urination allegation dating back to 1986. Now islanders are calling for the unpopular edifice’s demolition, lest it causes more harm to dairy products, for which the Isle is justly famous.

‘In the short time I took my eye off that milk, it had become suspiciously warm, and when my husband arrived back from shopping two hours later he thought it was ‘on the turn’. I did not taste it as I am intolerant.’ said Mrs Smythe, in a verbal statement.

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