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Laughter Spot : “The one about the children writing about the ocean”

She Told Her Children To Write About The Ocean. But Couldn’t Stop Laughing After Reading These.

A group of kids was given an assignment in class by their homeroom teacher one day. Their task was to write about the ocean—you know, the deep blue sea—in their own words and what they thought about it. They weren’t given any directions whatsoever by their teacher or any supervising adult, so what they came up with was purely out of their own imagination. Their answers were incredible.

1. This is a picture of an octopus. It has eight testicles. (Kelly, age 6)
2. If you are surrounded by ocean, you are an island. If you don’t have ocean all round you, you are incontinent. (Mike, age 7)
3. Oysters’ balls are called pearls. (Jerry, age 6)
4. Sharks are ugly and mean, and have big teeth, just like Emily Richardson . She’s not my friend any more. (Kylie, age 6)
5. A dolphin breaths through an a**hole on the top of its head. (Billy, age

6. My uncle goes out in his boat with 2 other men and a woman and pots and comes back with crabs. (Millie, age 6)
7. When ships had sails, they used to use the trade winds to cross the ocean. Sometimes when the wind didn’t blow the sailors would whistle to make the wind come. My brother said they would have been better off eating beans. (William, age 7)
8. Mermaids live in the ocean. I like mermaids. They are beautiful and I like their shiny tails, but how on earth do mermaids get pregnant? Like, really? (Helen, age 6)
9. I’m not going to write about the ocean. My baby brother is always crying, my Dad keeps yelling at my Mom, and my big sister has just got pregnant, so I can’t think what to write. (Amy, age 6)
10. Some fish are dangerous. Jellyfish can sting. Electric eels can give you a shock. They have to live in caves under the sea where they have to plug themselves in to chargers. (Christopher, age 7)

11. When you go swimming in the ocean, it is very cold, and it makes my willy small. (Kevin, age 6)
12. Divers have to be safe when they go under the water. Divers can’t go down alone, so they have to go down on each other. (Becky, age 8)
13. On vacation my Mom went water skiing. She fell off when she was going very fast. She says she won’t do it again because water fired right up her big fat A*S. (Julie, age 7)
14. The ocean is made up of water and fish. Why the fish don’t drown I don’t know. (Bobby, age 6)
15. My dad was a sailor on the ocean. He knows all about the ocean. What he doesn’t know is why he quit being a sailor and married my mom. (James, age 7)

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