jokes
1. Blunders : When his 38 calibre revolver failed to fire at his intended victim during a hold-up in Long Beach, California would-be robber James Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder.
He peered down the barrel and tried the trigger again. This time it worked.
A young lad woke in the small hours needing to use the bathroom.
He walked into his parents room as was his habit and came [more…]
A brunette, a red-head and a blonde were in jail when they decided to break out. The girls broke out and the brunette said, "Let's hide in that barn, they'll never find us."
So they climed up the ladder and then the blonde threw it down.
Geoffrey, a middle-aged British tourist on his first visit to Germany finds the red light district and enters a large brothel. The madam asks him to be seated and sends over a young lady to entertain him.
They sit and talk, frolic a little, giggle a bit, drink a bit, and she sits on his lap. He whispers in her ear and she gasps and runs away! Seeing this, the madam sends over a more experienced lady to entertain the gentleman.
A lady hurried to the chemist to get medication for her sick child, when she got back to her car she found that she had locked her keys inside.
Looking around she spied an old rusty coat hanger left on the ground.
So this duck goes into a pub just after opening time and orders and pie and a pint.
The landlord says “We don’t get many ducks in here,are you local?”
Topical Laughter Spot : "The one about the supermarket"
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The wax museum just acquired a very good wax figure of ex prez Bill Clinton.
They had it arranged to show him in an authoritative stance in front of several staff members set on a stage made up like the oval office.
After the figure had been on display for a couple of days, the museum employees were constantly having to go in and rezip Bill's zipper, it kept falling to the 'down' position.
A man and his wife were awakened at 3:00am by a loud pounding on the door.
The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger standing in the pouring rain, is asking for a push.
"Not a chance," says the husband, it's 3:00 in the morning! "He slams the door and returns to bed. "Who was that?" asked his wife.
A woman awakes during the night, and her husband isn't in bed with her.
She goes downstairs to look for him. She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a glass of whiskey in front of him.
He appears to be in deep thought, just staring at the wall.
Research reveals next wave of digital sales growth in popular retail categories will be driven by older consumers -
