Get in Touch

jokes

Laughter Spot : The one about the two statues

by on November 19, 2013

In a city park stood two statues, one female and the other male. These two statues faced each other for many years. Early one morning an angel appeared before the statues and said, "Since the two of you have been exemplary statues and have brought enjoyment to many people, I am giving you your greatest wish. I hereby give you the gift of life. You have 30 minutes to do whatever you desire." And with that command, the statues came to life.

[more…]

Laughter Spot : The one about cleaning your mouse

by on November 19, 2013

This memo is from an unnamed computer company. It went to all field engineers about a computer peripheral problem. The author of this memo was quite serious. The engineers rolled on the floor. 

[more…]

Laughter Spot : Best read in the last six weeks

by on November 18, 2013

[more…]

Laughter spot : You know you’ve had too much Christmas Cheer when…

by on November 17, 2013

You Know You've Had Too Much Christmas Cheer When...

1. You notice your tie sticking out of your fly.

2. Someone uses your tongue for a coaster.

3. You start kissing the portraits on the wall.

4. You see your underwear hanging from the chandelier.

5. You have to hold on to the floor to keep from sliding off. [more…]

Laughter Spot : Stranded on a desert island

by on November 17, 2013

One day an Irishman, who has been stranded on a desert island for over ten long years, sees an unusual speck on the horizon.

"It's certainly not a ship," he thinks to himself. As the speck gets closer and closer, he begins to rule out the possibilities of a small boat, then even a raft.  [more…]

Laughter Spot : Bumper Stickers – “I used to have a handle on life, but it broke”

by on November 15, 2013

*Forget world peace. Visualize using your turn signal.
*I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
*WANTED: Meaningful overnight relationship.
*Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
*IRS We've got what it takes to take what you've got.
*Out of my mind...Back in five minutes.

[more…]

Laughter Spot : The one about polishing apples

by on November 15, 2013

A young man asked an old rich man how he made his money.

The old guy fingered his expensive wool vest and said, "Well, son, it was 1932. The depth of the Great Depression. I was down to my last nickel." 

[more…]

Laughter Spot : The one about the beautiful woman in the airport lounge

by on November 14, 2013

Our man is alone in an airport lounge.  A beautiful woman walks in and sits down at the table next to him.

He decides because she's wearing a uniform, she's probably an off-duty flight attendant.  So he decides to have a go at chatting her up by identifying the airline she flies for, thereby impressing her greatly.

Thanks to Paul Tomes in South Africa for this one.

[more…]

Laughter Spot : Did you have a bit to drink last night?

by on November 13, 2013

Paddy had been drinking at his local Dublin pub all day and most of the night celebrating St Patrick's Day.

Mick, the bartender says, " You'll not be drinking anymore tonight Paddy.

Paddy replies, "OK Mick, I'll be on my way then."

Paddy spins around on his stool and steps off. He falls flat on his face. "Shoite" he says and pulls himself up by the stool and dusts himself off.

He takes a step towards the door and falls flat on his face, "Shoite, Shoite!"

He looks to the doorway and thinks to himself that if he can just get to the door and some fresh air he'll be fine. 

[more…]

Laughter Spot : Don’t mess with old people

by on November 12, 2013

George Phillips, from Hout Bay Cape Town, was going up to bed, when his wife told him that he'd left the light on in the garden shed, which she could see from the bedroom window. George opened the back door to go turn off the light, but saw that there were people in the shed stealing things.

He phoned the police, who asked "Is someone in your house?"

He said "No," but some people are breaking into my garden shed and stealing from me.

[more…]