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Richard Goard

Laughter Spot : What time does a duck wake up? A: At the quack of dawn!

by on January 15, 2016

Q. What time does a duck wake up?  A: At the quack of dawn!

Q: What do ducks get after they eat?   A: A bill!

Many thanks to Richard Goard in Surrey for these gems. The graphics are by Shutterstock.

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Laughter Spot : A couple were shopping

by on December 19, 2013

A big word of thanks to Richard Goard for this Laughter Spot.

The shopping centre was packed, and as the wife walked through one of the malls she was surprised when she looked around to find that her husband was nowhere to be seen.

She was quite upset because they had a lot to do and she became so worried that she called him on her mobile phone to ask him where he was.

In a quiet voice he said, "Do you remember the jewellers we went into about five years ago where you fell in love with that diamond necklace that we couldn't afford, and I told you that I would get it for you one day?"

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Laughter Spot : One-Liners from Richard Goard

by on November 2, 2013

One-Liners

Q. In what room of the house would you never find a ghost?
A. The living room.

Q. What do Skeletons say before eating?
A. Bone Appetite.

Many thanks to Richard Goard for this

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Irish Laughter Spot : ‘Finding the height of this’

by on July 11, 2013

Two Irishmen were standing at the base of a flagpole, looking up. A blonde walks by and asked them what they were doing Paddy replied, 'We're supposed to be finding the height of this

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Why do we leave cars worth thousands of pounds in our driveways and put our junk in the garage?

by on February 16, 2013

We all need to smile every once in a while. We can guarantee at theMarketingblog that this set of WHY questions will bring a huge smile to brighten your day. Enjoy them and if you can think of other WHY ones please let us have them.

A big word of thanks to Richard Goard for this contribution. [more…]

“HMV vouchers are now being accepted at Tesco. Tell them HMV means ‘Horse Meat Voucher’”

by on February 14, 2013

Richard Goard sent this through to us with the comment ... This must be the full set!! Anybody want to challenge Mr Goard?

Does anyone have a tooth pick? I had a Tesco burger last night and there’s still a bit between my teeth.

My daughter has always wanted a pony, so I’m buying her a Tesco Quarter Pounder for her birthday.

I’ve got some Tesco burgers in the fridge. But . . . THEY’RE OFFFFFFFFF!

My doctor told me to watch what I eat, so I went out and bought tickets for the Grand National.

If you think horse meat’s bad, wait until you try Tesco’s veggie burgers. They’re made of genuine uniQuorn.

Here are all the horse meat articles etc. from theMarketingblog. There are more gems - click more now. Enjoy

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Laughter Spot : Ten great horsemeat puns….thanks to Richard Goard

by on January 16, 2013

Sample of Tesco Everyday Value Beef Burgers showed about 29% horse meat relative to beef content....

A woman has been taken to hospital after eating horse meat burgers. Her condition is said to be stable.

I expect this only relates to those mini-burgers you have as snacks. You know, the horse d'oeuvres = horse ovaries ...thanks Dewald

I get all my horsemeat from an independent dodgy butcher.

and not so funny ... Horse meat discovery knocks £300m off Tesco market value

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Laughter Spot : Great timing makes for – great photos .. enjoy

by on January 15, 2013

You will enjoy this gallery of perfectly timed photos .. many thanks to Richard Goard 

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The most appropriate definition of “Political Correctness” / Laughter Spot via Richard Goard

by on October 16, 2012

There is an annual contest at Duke University, USA, for the most appropriate definition of a contemporary term.

This year's term was: "Political Correctness".

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Laughter Spot : Things that are difficult to say when you’re drunk…

by on October 7, 2012

A big word of thanks to Richard Goard for this 'Laughter Spot'

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