Got my wife some lovely perfume for her birthday , it’s called SAMPLE…
Hope she likes it.
When I was a teenager my mum always used to say that my room was so messy that I’d never get any ‘self respecting girl’ to go in there.
Luckily those weren’t the girls I was after.
A couple just got married, and when the husband went back to his house he found that his bride had disappeared. He got very worried and gathered up all his friends to search for his wife with no success.
Two days after his wife disappeared the man returned home to find her in the kitchen. He asked her what she has been up to and why she hasn’t been home for so long.
She replied: “These four men kidnapped me and had wild sex with me for a week.”
The husband answered: “But it’s only been two days what do you mean a week?”
“I am only here to get something to eat.”
A farmer ordered a high-tech milking machine. Since the equipment arrived when his wife was out of town, he decided to test it on himself first.
So, he inserted his “manhood” into the equipment, turned on the switch and everything else was automatic.
Soon, he realized that the equipment provided him with much more pleasure than his wife did. When the fun was over, though, he quickly realized that he couldn’t remove the instrument from his ‘member’.
He read the manual but didn’t find any useful information on how to disengage himself. He tried every button on the instrument, but still without success. Finally, he decided to call the supplier’s
Customer Service Hot Line with his cell phone (Thank god for cell phones!).
“Hello, I just bought a milking machine from your company. It
works fantastic, but how do I remove it from the cow’s udder?”
“Don’t worry,” replied the customer service rep, “The machine will release automatically once it’s collected two gallons. Have a nice day.”
One day, A long, long time ago there lived a woman who did not whine, nag, moan or complain….
But it was a long long time ago, and it was just that one day!!
Graphics by Shutterstock